Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Take A Moment

*I originally wrote this in 2012 for*

Do you ever just stop, breathe, look around, and think? Think about how blessed and fortunate you are? I sure do! Have I always done so? Absolutely not. Is it because I didn’t think I was? Maybe. Or maybe it was just a lack of “time,” knowledge on how to be grateful, life experience to reflect upon? Or maybe I didn’t see how I was so fortunate. Now, however, I do this at least twice a week. I look at my brother and see him grown into a man, a man who protects our country in the USMC. He is a man who not too long ago was just a little boy who needed me and had little responsibility. He respected my opinion, asked me for help, came to me if he had a problem and no matter what, I always appreciate him and our time together. He is innately intelligent and I could not be more proud to call him my brother, my blood. As for my twin sisters who have grown eons just within the past couple of years, I am thankful. I’m thankful that they are my best friends, thankful that they needed me when they were young and still need me at times now. I’m thankful I get to spend time with them creating memories that will forever be cast in our minds. The time I spend with them is priceless.

Many times when we are young we don’t understand the “why’s” of our lives or the paths that it will lead us on. This in turn leads us to the question, “why me?” That question leads me to believe that when you are young and still too immature to understand life, you often find yourself asking that question a lot. Now, I understand. I understand why I am here. I understand why I grew up the way that I did. And I understand how I am able to deal with certain situations better than most people would. I finally know what it means and how it feels to “trim the fat,” to take out the garbage. Sometimes it takes getting rid of toxicity in your life to grow into your own and live the life you’ve always wanted; whatever that means to you, whether it’s losing excess body weight, severing ties in unhealthy relationships, quitting smoking, etc. Just do it and never look back.

Enter my reason, my son, Johnny. My son drives me to take in every breath of him, his scent, his smile, his movement, his face; everything makes me wild, yet allows me to feel completely at ease. Many times I just find myself sitting here thanking a higher power for blessing me with this gigantic amount of love I have in my heart.

When I sit on our couch, I look out the window, gaze around our condo, take a deep breath and think, “This is real.” I have more than I could have ever dreamed of. I have already crossed so many items off my dream list. I have an amazing family, my dedicated soon to be hubs, my son, my health, my mental health, my happiness, a HAPPY family life, a condo in the city, a college degree, physical ability and so much more. Not only do I have all of this, but I have the ability, wisdom, and perseverance to attain so much more. My heart is full, happy, and forever gracious.

So please, stop and smell the beautiful roses every once in a while.