Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Finally able to breathe


Okay, so the past 2 weeks have been hard. Like, really hard. Like, crying ALMOST every day hard. Why? Because life is just sometimes HARD.

What I'd like to know is WHY no one ever talks about how hard moving is emotionally. I can't possible be the only person to feel sad/depressed/anxious/nervous. It took me a while to accept that I was all of those things. And it took me some time to figure out that MOVING was the reason behind my feelings.

See, I wasn't used to this new house. This new neighborhood. How to use these *new* appliances. Worrying about bugs getting into the house (we lived in a condo on the 6th floor for 7 years!). P.S., I finally figured out that my front screen door wasn't properly shutting which was allowing bugs here and there INTO my house. And we live near a forest. And I just wanted to pack up and walk out the f*cking door! I wasn't used to the noises (the chipmunks talking on my porch waking me up like a rooster on a farm) or the acorns which fall off our humongo tree and make knocking noises right above my room. And apparently the person(people) who lived here before us never heard of the word DEEP cleaning, or maybe they just never heard of the word cleaning in general.

THIS STUFF has been hard! And now that we've been here for a month and a week, I can say with honesty, I FINALLY feel like myself again. I made homemade pasta yesterday (like the first REAL meal I've made since we moved in) and I finally took my THIRD shower in the house (I have been showering at our new gym). I finally wake up feeling refreshed and HAPPY. I finally can fall asleep without sleeping with one eye open. Not only this but we had our FIRST annual block party and got the opportunity to meet a lot of our neighbors! We had family over and had some good food and conversation.

Lastly, my son was having a hard time sleeping. He would say there are monsters in his room, or wake up screaming crying for me to change his diaper (which he just wanted to get out of bed), he would 99% of the time cry when it was bed time; and let me tell you, THAT was a God awful feeling. My husband and I decided we needed to set up his big boy bed and complete the decorating in his room. Johnny LOVES Cars and Lightning McQueen, so we got a car bed and bought a lot of decorative accents. Johns friend came over and put the bed together for us and let me tell you, what a world of a difference. LIKE. OH.MY.GOD. LIFE CHANGING! Johnny LOVES his room! He LOVES his bed and LOVES sleeping in it! He happily goes to bed and does not get out (day 4, so knock on wood this keeps up!). He does NOT cry when I put him to bed. He hasn't mentioned a monster since! So, now things are beginning to feel COMPLETE. And normal. And happy.

Life is FINALLY, good.