*This post was done originally by me and posted on Skinnymom.com when I blogged for them in the past*
Today, before I was headed off to the gym and scrambling around my
messy house looking for my son’s boot and his hat, I was listening to
the TV and stopped. There was a woman on there, a mother of two, who was
begging for attention from her husband. When I say begging, it wasn’t
like she was holding her thoughts inside; she would cry and tell her
husband that he needs to validate her every single day. She was a very
pretty woman so I was bewildered. I kept on listening and this woman
became a stay at home mom and she “loved it.” So what was the problem?
She thought her husband looked down on her because she didn’t have a
“real job.” From what was being said, her husband never once said those
words to her and actually said that he was grateful that she stayed home
with them to take care of the kids. This led me to assume that maybe
she didn’t really believe what she was doing was fulfilling enough for
her, or that people looked down on her and she was insecure about it.
Naturally, during my workout I pondered this scenario for a bit.
and foremost, if you love yourself then you do not need
validation from anyone. Validation is nice every once in a while, sure,
just to know you are appreciated, but it should not be necessary. Being a
stay at home mom, there are no tangible rewards. You do not get a raise
or promotion for a job well done, you do not get paid, you do not get
breaks, you do not get a “good job” from the boss, etc. There is none of
that. But if you love what you do, then none of that matters; those are
just added bonuses. If your children grow up to be respectful, polite,
and hard working individuals, that is the reward. You learning about how
to have patience and explain information in such a way to little but
expanding minds so that they can learn is the reward. You being there
for them learning to hold their head up, crawl, smile, hold their own
bottle, walk, talk, etc; that is the reward. Having faith in yourself
that you can have multiple tasks to accomplish which seem impossible and
somehow you accomplish them because you have super powers is the
reward. These are the things you must see, whether you’re a stay at home
mom or dad, or even a working parent.
Raising a child(ren) is difficult. When I was younger I dreamed of
being a rock star, professional sports star, and a psychiatrist. I’ve
had plenty of jobs in the real world since I was 16, and being a mom is
the hardest job I’ve ever had. Between raising your child, cleaning,
working (if you work), cooking, packing lunches, making bottles, doing
laundry, making time for yourself, making time for your significant
other; it almost seems impossible. Even if you don’t accomplish
EVERYTHING, if you are there for yourself first and foremost, then you
can be there for your family; and that is the biggest accomplishment of
all.
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